Saturday, November 14, 2009

mmmmm, muffins

Now that my teeny jeans fit (just thought I'd mention that again...) it means my not-so-teeny jeans don't fit.
In fact, the jeans I bought as skin tight two years ago are now positively loose. They have progressed from "skinny" jeans to the "boyfriend" jeans look. This is fine because I like the casual look, and probably wear it more often than is strictly socially acceptable. However, I also need a decent pair of dark, skinny jeans. It's a wardrobe staple, I'm sure you understand.

So I hustled down to the shops while baby was in daycare (more on that in a later post, probably) and searched out a suitable pair. And while I was there, I met the lady who, in my opinion, is single handedly responsible for every muffin top in Townsville.

For those who don't know, a muffin top is the result of too tight jeans meeting... well, too many muffins, really. Here's an example:

photo by Malingering

Muffin tops are scary. Muffin tops are the result of delusion. Muffin tops should be outlawed - they can make perfectly slim girls look like behemoths just because their jeans are one size too small.

The shop assistant didn't just want to sell me jeans, she wanted me to walk out of that shop with a muffin top, too. She insisted on it. She tried to convince me that the comfortable, flattering pants that I had chosen were a size too large, because they had a teeny little bit of extra space under my bum. Now, I do not have masses of junk in my trunk, but I am certainly not going to aim for a shrink wrapped tush if the cost is a muffin mountain swelling out just two inches away! I know what looks worse.

I shudder to think of how many women this professional jeans-fitter has advised, and how many have fallen for the "one size too small sell down". It must be a lot, because I see them around every day. It can't be sensible for all these girls walking around with their hip joints compressed, and unable to sit down comfortably. I would understand if it made them look better, like high heels, but it seems to be pain with no gain.

So, repeat after me ladies, you might be able to do them up, but it does NOT make them okay. Check the mirror!


  1. I hope you gave that sales "assistant" a good hard smack. I hate it when they think they're right, and they aren't. They're picking up a paycheque for supposedly being right! They need to actualy BE RIGHT. Sheesh.

  2. So true! I learned that it is much better to swallow my pride and go up a size to the jeans that actually fit than to squeeze into the size I WISH I wore and look like crap!

  3. A muffin top AND a tramp stamp! Could she get any classier?