Make baby a tiny fruit salad. Baby eats some fruit salad. Baby gets bored. Baby tries to take spoon. Give baby own spoon. Baby digs into bowl and flicks pawpaw onto my clean shorts. Make mental note to change shorts.
Feed baby more fruit. Baby uses her spoon as a sword and parries every mouthful. Take baby’s spoon. Baby refuses to eat any more fruit. Soft lumps are Too Much Like Hard Work. Baby still hungry. Five minutes until we have to leave.
Get yoghurt. Hide hated cereal in yoghurt as extra iron. Feed baby yoghurt. Baby finds cereal, complains. Feed baby more yoghurt. Baby eats it anyway. Baby is getting tired eyes. Rubs hands from yoghurt covered mouth into eyes and through hair. Baby falls asleep coated in yoghurt. Pick up baby. Knock bowl and get yoghurt on shorts. Underline mental note to change shorts.
Wash sleeping baby. Change sleeping baby’s nappy. Rush sleeping baby out the door, 5 minutes behind time.
Drive to Rhyme Time. Misread the clock, actually one hour early.
Sit in car while baby sleeps. Forgot book, read carseat manual instead. Wish library opened an hour earlier.
Baby wakes up for Rhyme Time. Go inside. Realise I forgot to change shorts and the stains look dodgy. Hold squirming baby on my lap for the hour in an effort to hide shorts. Smile encouragingly as the librarian wrangles 30 toddlers from the Future Soccer Hooligan Development Program.
Best friend arrives. Notices stains in less than a minute. Laughs, compares stains. Mine are newer but larger. Leave Hooligans, get coffee.