Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Everything I hate about 50 Shades of Grey

So I read 50 Shades of Grey on the weekend. I finished it as much "in one sitting" as it is possible for a mother of two small children to pull off without endangering her kids. The first chapter is truly terribly written, but I kept on going because I hadn't reached the sex yet, but by the time I did I was too far in to extricate myself. It reached the point where I was reading as quickly as possible, just so I could mercifully reach the end.

It made me cross. Not just because of the writing, the heroine's constant "inner goddess" twaddle or the annoying lip biting, but because of the example this, the fastest selling paperback of all time, is setting to younger women. I was disturbed to learn that it is popular among "teenage girls and college women". Is this going to be the first literary erotic role modeling these girls have? Will it shape their views on how relationships are supposed to work? Will the popularity of this book mean the gents assume this is what all women want in real life? I'm terrified for them all.

First up, pedophilia. Never acceptable. Even if it is between a teenage son of a crack whore and his adopted mother's friend, and somehow "saved" him. What a crock. This is exactly the kind of crap pedophiles tell themselves to justify their actions, and having it defended repeatedly in this book (by the main, exceptional successful, character no less) is deplorable.

In a tale about BDSM the power imbalance is obviously going to be a key plot point, but the power imbalance here extends way outside the bedroom. When our two main players meet he is a billionaire company owner while she is a broke college girl. She requires his approval in order to complete a task for her overbearing room mate, least she endangers her cushy living conditions.

The power starts and remains completely in his hands. As the novel plays out he constantly reminds her by buying ludicrously expensive gifts that she feels uncomfortable accepting, probably because she realises he is not lavishing affection, but rather reinforcing his power. This is further underlined by him constantly knowing her location and home addresses. Even she calls it stalking.

But what can Anastasia do? She has brought herself up on a steady diet of historical British novels, where the heroine's first love is usually her one true love, and they then live out their happily ever after.

And, after all, Anastasia does think she is in love. With a man she has known for a week or two. That, ladies and gentlemen, is called hormones. Just hormones. How can she possibly love him in that time frame?

And if she hadn't run (after he beat her) when the heady mix of pheromones wears thin she would find herself firmly ensconced in a relationship with a man who gets off on her pain.  A man who is willing to boldly confront a virgin with a contract about sticking his fist up her bum, and then smack her with a belt a few days later. And she will be trapped there by her own upbringing - striving to "fix" him, looking for her happily ever after, and no doubt failing miserably.

It concerns me deeply that this kind of novel is being so widely read and lauded. Yes, it has sex scenes, but it is not sexy. There is nothing sexy about such an imbalanced, unhealthy relationship.

38 comments:

  1. Story about teenage girl but I bet the readers are not teenagers - might be a blessing. There are at least 3 follow up books on this crap. Paints an ugly picture of society as I looked yesterday at an oversized display of the available books at my supermarket right at the entrance and it was in dire need of major re-stocking! Should buy shares in this endeavor.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would also like to point out that the links in my posted reply are not of my doing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hooorayy!!! Someone else who hates it. We have to start a club...

    I loathe it... I want to burn it... I can't believe this absolute sh*te is on the best seller list.

    It's insulting to men, it's insulting to women, it's insulting to the English language... I feel for those writers that work hard and are actually talented enough to string a page turning story together, with out 'inner goddess' and 'lip biting', but yet don't get published...

    I would rather sh*t in my hands and clap then have a copy of this iq decreasing piece of garbage in my house.

    /end rant...

    *Apologies for the profanaties but I really think it's tripe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought you might find this amusing

      http://cheezburger.com/6440680448

      Delete
  4. Ick...it sounds awful...I havnt really heard much about the book, except it has been in a few catalogues as a new release....wont be putting it on my xmas list , thats for sure....
    I hope my girls and boy grow up to talk to me about sex openly...and ask all the questions they feel they can...my advice will always be, sex is NOT like in the movies, or tv or in books....its not called sex between people that love each other...it is 'love'....and it is what those two people make it to be, not what society tells you it should be....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "it's is what those two people make it to be..."

      Yes. Exactly.

      Delete
  5. Haven't read it. Had no desire to read it. Even less of a desire to read it now. Thank you Fiona, for that pithy review.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not even going there. Usually, if there's a lot of hoopla surrounding a book/film, I find that I don't like it. Recently discussed this book in our reading group on Facebook and the general consensus is that it's 50 Shades of Thrash.
    How sad that this is what we're coming to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm the same, I don't think my "good book radar" is tuned to the popular wavelength.

      "thrash" or "trash"? Both very very true.... ;)

      Delete
  7. Thank you for this post. I am going to share it far and wide. The fact that on the one hand most of the boys my 14year old daughter meets will have watched porn, combined with this picture of a submissive controlled woman as 'heroine' is truly frightening and I'm with you on being deeply disturbed..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Porn as a sex educator scares me too. It is a far cry from the smutty pictures passed round behind the bike shed in days of old, and often described as comparable. Those pictures allowed the viewer to impose their own imagination on the picture, develop an understanding of what they personally prefer, and then hopefully muddle through to that outcome with their partner. Porn requires no imagination, and I don't need to tell you that most "unprofessional" women do not respond to the majority of the acts shown, with the ardor and enthusiasm of those well paid. Never mind the fact that in porn, most sex is done TO the women, instead of having her meet the man halfway.

      Delete
  8. I work in a bookstore and I wish that book would die!I read the first one because we're asked for it multiple times a day and agree with alll the comments above but one of the parts that really made me angry was when he made her get a personal trainer...how non accepting is that and how much does that send a message that women must change to please a man.Grrrrrrrrrrr...

    ReplyDelete
  9. So refreshing to read a bad review about this book! After all the hype I was nearly tempted to buy it, but instead I've requested it from the library (waiting, waiting, quite a queue!).
    Thanks for stating so clearly what you found objectionable. I'm even more interested to read it now - I can't criticize what I don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree totally with it being a crap book. Crap writing, crap story line, and horrible characters. In the 2nd book (yes, I know I read that one because I thought it may have improved!?!?), she GOES BACK to him because she cant be without him. They are apart for A WEEK. An obsessive domineering narcissist for a partner - how lovely and how positive. The amount of "down there", biting lips, inner goddess and "flushed" that is in the books drives me made. Do a kindle count on each of them and its a phenomenal amount of repetition! So glad that there are others who think it is a terrible example of writing and a terrible thing for our young women to read!
    Rachel, New Zealand

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great reponse Anon, and funny. She GOES BACK? Heaven help their kids, who I guess will be born about 6 books into the series if this idiot chooses this man as her life partner? Creepy creepy.

      Delete
    2. Hi Alison, Yeah, she goes back and she gets married to him in the 3rd book I think, but didn't read that one ;-) Thank god its only a trilogy. Good marketing makes money I guess.
      Rachel, New Zealand

      Delete
  11. Thank you for saving me from reading it! I had no desire to read it, but it is just sooooo popular I was starting to feel I should. But after your lovely review I shall hold off. I'll probably read it one day (just so I know), but I certainly won't be helping out with book sales.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I haven't read it yet, and have no real inclination to. But I must admit this is the first negative review I have heard of the book! And I'm glad I read it, I do wonder if all the women saying they enjoyed it are just "jumping on the bandwagon" due to it being such a talked about series at the moment.
    Thankyou for your thoughts on it - it supports my instinct not to!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for your honest review. I have not read it and don't wish too. I'm sorry you wasted one whole day of your life reading trash. Unfortunately, there is talk of a movie!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I only saw this book in a shop yesterday, and thought it might be popular if there is a whole shelf devoted to it. Thank you for saving me from it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'd already decided NOT to read this book. However, I'm so glad you did and shared your thoughts, just incase I ever considered changing my mind. ;)
    ~S.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Blimey! You're a brave woman getting through that. From what I've read this book is problematic on lots of levels. Especially on the level marked "Good writing found here". I don't think I'll be going there but thanks for taking one for the team.

    ReplyDelete
  17. James has described the Fifty Shades trilogy as "This is my midlife crisis, writ large," she said. "All my fantasies in there, and that's it." (quote from Wikipedia)
    I think this was the first reason I avoided it...I know some of the biggest names in the biz (Erotic writing) - who consider all the things you mentioned as unacceptable to be exactly that, unacceptable.
    I haven't read these books because I was warned off by those who know my inner editor would blow up (I was warned off Twilight for that reason too) due to the criminally awful writing.
    I think she needs to spend her ill gained royalties on a good psych.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ...or donate it to womens' shelters to help readers when the dominance/submission/kooky violence sex shit goes terribly wrong. Or the UNs 'Girl Up' program to help those working their butts off to raise women out of oppressive situations...

    ReplyDelete
  19. THank you for saying what no-one else seemed to have the balls to say. I can't get past the likelihood that the huges sales of this trash are due to the 'I'd better buy it because everyone else is buying it' egged on by every member of the electronic and print media. I think that there was a novelty factor in the initial buzz about the ebook, then it took off, just like online film clips 'go viral' - mostly out of curiosity. Just as, once you've clicked on a YouTube clip, your presence is deemed as approval, so I think many women bought this book (wow, look at those HUGE sales figures) out of curiosity and the endorsement of vacuous celebrities. Of course we'll never know how many never read it, never finished it or disliked it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I've been hearing about this trilogy of books and how fast they are selling and so many women are reading them. I heard about it at the pool and in the beauty shop and the women are saying you've got to read it but after your review I won't be getting the book I feel exactly the way you feel I don't want to read about a superegotistical man wheeling his money and power around and seducing a young innocent girl. Sounds like a porn flick and I hate the fact that women let themselves be demeaned in such a way. Thank you from one less buyer!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I haven't read it, zero plans to read it, thank you for confirming that too, yet another educated & balanced opinion on what a stupid book, hype & terrible writing has spread like a virus.
    Straight up, would rather be having healthy sex with a man who loves & respects me, than reading this rubbish. Love Posie

    ReplyDelete
  22. I read all three (well, skim read from page 10 of the first book onwards), mainly so I can spread the word about how TERRIBLE they are. The second two are actually worse than the first - at least that one is slightly... different... to other books I had read. But the writing gets worse, sloppier and lazier, and the plot lines (such as they are) even more unbelievable and ridiculous. And then the children start popping out - these books should carry a health warning for bad writing.

    ReplyDelete
  23. wow what a damning review. I've read all three...it was interesting...but not my favourite books by all means and I get your point that this would be a terrible example to younger girls in their teens if this is their first romantic/erotic novel. Having said that...loads of successful books are controversial. They explore different themes, they challenge another way of living....remember this is fiction. It's not real. There are loads of trashy reality shows like The Shire that is full of crap and I'd be more worried about young girls watching that, than reading a fictional story. Besides, I do applaud the author. she had an idea, she dedicated her time to write three novels, got it published and it created a sensation (even though its not for everyones taste) and now she is successful....ahem, very very sucessful! Good on her I say. This wont be the last book people don't like.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh my gosh. I haven't read the books and don't plan to. What a truly damning assessment of these books - and so very scary.
    Even more reason not to read them.

    Thanks for your thoughts.
    Posie Patchwork recommended your review, and i had to come see for myself
    x

    ReplyDelete
  25. gawd, i am just glad others don't like it either.
    i feel like such a freak - wtf is it such a hype?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Women seem to read porn while men watch it. Looks like both sexes are being bombarded by a perpetual "pushing of the envelope" deviancy. Somebody is driving this.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I think you guys will be interested in 50 shadesof grey anfd what they say- that the relationship is domestic abuse and are raising awareness.
    Great post and replies btw. Whole heartingly argee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Catherine Reynolds is this what you are referring to question mark. My key on my keyboard that makes question marks,stars,and exclamtions points broke off.


      Home
      Photo Gallery
      Members
      Blog
      Links
      Contact Us
      Forums
      Videos

      50 Shades is Domestic Abuse
      Welcome
      This website has been set up to campaign against the "50 Shades of Grey" book series. These books have been portrayed as a erotic fiction and have gained total acceptability throughout popular culture. As campaigners, workers, women who have experienced domestic abuse and preventers of violence against women, we stand up to say these books are not erotic fiction, but the full reality of domestic abuse. Putting the series as erotic fiction gives it credibility that it does not deserve. These books portray sexual, emotional, physical and psychological violence and abuse as not only normal, but as something to aspire to. As people committed to the eradication of violence against women we reject the normalising of abuse these books are perpetuating and we call you to join us.




      Join us in fighting back!


      You can download a book cover here which you can print and place in the shops where you find them. Please take pictures/videos of books you have covered and post them on twitter and/or facebook and email them to us and we will upload them to our website photo album.


      We can make a difference and see these books publically becoming unacceptable to read! We can do this! Join us!

      Create a free website at Webs.com

      Delete
  28. this book is so shitty i became suicidal after reading it. I mean literally what kind of people think this is a romance novel. There is nothing romantic about a guy hitting a girl with a belt or buying the plane seat next to her when she goes to visit her mom just because she can't talk to anyone else except him. Tell me is that not creepy? I pity the women who enjoy this when I think what low self esteem and self respect they must have. I am not a crazy, extremist, feminist but this book is a crime against the female sex

    ReplyDelete