Yesterday I was sewing, and while I sew, I think. And curse. And seam rip, and eat half a custard bun, but mostly think.
This particular day, I was considering what a monumental responsibility it is to raise up two daughters to be thriving adults, able to make their way safely and competently in the world outside our home.
And since I like both a solid set of goal posts and a good list, I started to jot down my ideas on what I want my girls to know by the time they leave home. Soon I was doing more writing than sewing, and I had a list as long as my receipt from the sewing shop. Which was, incidentally, what I was writing on.
Now, this list is just my own opinion, forged from my experiences as a daughter and a mother, a Scout and a soldier. Hopefully half the things on here will never be needed, but, then again... what kind of boring old life would that be, hey?
So here's the list:
50 things daughters should know before leaving home
How to:
1) Plan, shop and cook a week of healthy meals
2) Choose fresh fruit and vegetables
3) Grow a vegetable and flower garden
4) Bake bread from scratch
5) Bake and ice a birthday cake
6) Cook an impressive dinner
7) Set the table for a dinner party
8) Write thank you notes and conversational letters
9) Touch type
10) Write legibly and neatly
11) Study and take effective notes
12) Use basic spelled sign language
13) Talk confidently in public
14) Read and play music
15) Walk in heels
16) Apply makeup
17) Put together suitable outfits for a formal dinner, and business interview
18) Balance a basic budget
19) Understand simple and compound interest
20) Run a hard copy and computer filing system
21) Develop and follow an exercise routine
22) Clean a house
23) Correctly wash, dry and iron clothes
24) Mend clothes - buttons, tear and replacing zippers
25) Make a dress
26) Wash basic clothes without a machine
27) Call the emergency services
28) Identify and use a fire extinguisher and fire blanket
29) How to signal for help in morse code, semaphore and with a flare
30) CPR and First aid
31) Drive a manual
32) Reverse and parallel park
33) Change a tire on a car and a bike
34) Check the oil and fluid in a car
35) Jump start a car
36) Use a road map and a topographical map and compass
37) Find North without a compass, by day and by night
38) Walk a straight line in the bush or forest
39) Abseil and rock climb
40) Find and purify water
41) Catch a fish, prepare and eat it
42) Row and sail
43) Swim
44) Walk long distances
45) Build a camp fire and use a flint
46) Use a mattock, shovel, hammer, drill, saw, axe and chainsaw
47) Load, aim, fire, make safe and carry a pistol and rifle
48) Self defence
49) Fill sandbags and build a wall
50) Hold, change and feed a baby
What do you think. Did I miss anything?
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Additional images from here and here.
I can do.. just over half of those. Sign language confuses me, talking in public makes me break out in hives, and I'm not good with car stuff.
ReplyDeleteThe only other thing I can think of that you haven't actually written down, but which everything else contributes to, is be confident enough in yourself that when your boyfriend/husband/whoever else tells you you're useless/stupid/worthless, you can tell him where to stick it. Though preserving food - jams, pickles, canned meats etc - might be useful too. And tasty. Except the canned meat.
(I was surprised to see this on facebook.. becoming visible?)
Visible? Nah, stuffed up ;)
DeleteCanning is a good one, but it's one I haven't tackled myself yet, so it's kind of presumptuous to put it on the list! lol
I totally agree with the emotional confidence one. But how to teach it? Challenging. Hopefully it just kind of rubs off? I'm glad Mr A treats me very well, hopefully the girls learn that's what they should expect, and not settle for less. Talking in public is all bluff. And possibly some rum, but mostly bluff! I reckon your excused on the car stuff. That would be like expecting me to fix a naval carrier... I don't use one, so I don't need to know!
*you're. I officially hate myself now.
DeleteSuch an inspiring list! Maybe adding in something about how to handle relationships. Not just breakups with boyfriends or whatever, but friends too. It was hard for me losing a childhood friendship. And I want to make sure my kids are good house guests. Oh, and I don't know much about home maintanence...add how to unclog a drain, fix a leak and any toilet related ino would've been nice.
ReplyDeleteBut thanks for posting, I'm totally stealing this list!
Oh, love the plumbing skills! Also change a washer and plug in a dishwasher and washing machine...
DeleteI lost a childhood friendship too. It was devastating, actually. Do you think that's a right of passage, or avoidable?
House guests - yep, good add. Probably how to give hospitality, too.
Goodness....thats a big list...but very achievable I am sure with a fantastic mother like yourself...
ReplyDeleteI would have added, social situations, uno, how to mingle....( cos I am hopeless at that)....and that they have to love their mummy forever, no matter what.....and dont fall for the first guy that tell you that you are beautiful and kisses you............
oh and how to rollerskate.............backwards.... :)
Mingling, that's a great skill to have! I still struggle with it on occasion, but less now I'm older and care less ;)
DeleteThey better love their mummy forever! Nothing else matters half as much. Also, definitely rollerskating. Backwards :)
OM goodness ,your girls are going to be at home until they are 3o ,or is that the plan. I certainly can't do all this and I'm 56.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure they need to do all before they leave home ,painting and decorating may be more useful than building a wall.
Enjoy time with your cutie pies ,the list can wait a few more years.
hugs n stuff
Oh, there's plenty of time! I could do the lot by the time I was 19, so I figured it's pretty achievable :)
DeleteAnd I put in sandbagging walls in case of flood, but you're right about the decorating, too!
What a great list! I couldn't find North at night, but instead of that item I might substitute "not getting lost outside at night?" No? Okay then. You'll have to teach me how to find N @ 2300hrs.
ReplyDeleteIt's really easy, ack-shoe-ally. Just find the southern cross and the two pointers, draw a line down the long axis of the crux and another line at right angles to the line between the pointers. Where they meet is south... And so the other way is north!
DeletePS your initial paragraph was probably the best thing I have seen written about sewing. Possibly ever.
ReplyDeleteCustard buns - vital.
DeleteRight now I am feeling very overwhelmed. And completely useless in all situations. Thanks, Mrs A!
ReplyDelete~S. ;)
P.S. How do you sew whilst eating a custard bun? I can't eat whilst doing anything. I don't like to transfer stickiness from one item to another and I have a fear of spillage. If I can get away with it, I'll use a knife and fork. Or a spoon. For anything and everything. Doesn't your sewing get all custardy?
Well, full disclosure, it's not really *while*, more like in between. I got stuck on a tricky zipper, and needed to have a break!
DeleteYou seem to be surviving quite successfully so far, I'd say just carry on!
I am running blind, Mrs A! RUNNING BLIND!!
Delete~S.
Esp like nr 36. I hate it when people don't know where north is (I always have to orientate myself in a new place) AND one Must be able to read a map. Before Housewiving, I worked for five years in rural villages you could only find on a topo-sheet, the road map only went to the nearest secondary road :-D
ReplyDeleteMUST be able to read a map. I didn't buy myself a GPS until I was totally confident with a compass and topo map, because I didn't want to get lazy. Then, one moonless night when I hit an empty creek bed junction dead on, across country, I reckoned I had had enough practice ;) Thing is, I still find the maps easier... I just use the GPS as backup! Expensive bloody backup.
DeleteI love that my car has a compass in the dash :)
One more thing; teach them to show loving kindness to people who are old, sick, disabled, disfigured or just plain different.
ReplyDeleteYes! Respect and tolerance for everyone! We're working on that already :) Good add!
DeleteIt's great to read this list...though not sure my daughter, or son, will know how to load and aim a firearm LOL. I love Nos. 1, 9, 13, 30 and 41 particularly. I guess I would add something to do with reading books and the importance of education. Also having love and respect for herself, which is a bit intangible to add to a practical list.
ReplyDeleteI was pondering whether to include the weapons one, until I asked Mr A what his top skills for our girls would be. Weapons was number one... I think we might be a bit biased! Still, considering where we live and what they may end up stumbling across, I think it's an important one for our family. Having respect for a firearm and knowing how to make it safe is critical. Aiming... not so much, hopefully. But might as well go the whole hog!
DeleteI love that it's just tucked away in the list so casually along with wearing heels and baking bread.
DeleteHow to use power tools! I wish I'd been taught, so I'd know how to make things without fear.
ReplyDeleteOh, and "always keep a secret stash of money". Whether it's for self-pampering, surprise gifts or what my mother called Mad Money, it's important.
I taught myself! YouTube is an excellent resource ;)
DeleteThat is a great list. Hope you don't mind if I steal this idea - I am going to make a list for my two. My son's will be similar - but without the makeup.
ReplyDeleteOh and the walking in heels.
And the making a dress.
Ok, perhaps I should start a new one for my son!
Go for it, steal away!
DeleteFor a boys list, I would add "how to be assertive without being aggressive" and leave in every single thing pertaining to housework. And if you're going to cut out dressmaking, make sure you add in mending and button sewing!