I have survivors guilt.
My very dear friend is having a shocking time with her husband. I won't go into details, but as of yesterday she is now all on her own with three sons - a four year old, a one year old and a newborn. Her nanny has left, her husband has left, and now it's just her.
She's a fighter, and eventually she will be fine, but it's still exceptionally hard on her now.
And, since this is obviously all about me and my issues, this means I have a boatload of survivors guilt. I go to visit her, and she's rattling around her house and trying to put on a brave face, eating too many timtams (is there such a thing? Maybe "enough" timtams...) and feeling like total crap, and then I stroll home to my house. The lamps are lit, dinner's bubbling away, my loving husband is playing with the kids, and all I can do is curse at the total inequity of life.
I didn't do anything special to deserve this amazing family. This amazingly comfortable and happy life. I was just in the right place at the right time, and managed to meet the right guy for me.
I'm lucky. Purely lucky.
I just wish she was too!