Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Biohazard

Our bin is biohazardous.

I very glad our garbage truck is automated or else, like Hyacinth Bucket ("it's pronounced bouquet") I would be ashamed to own our rubbish.

Mr A left again on Monday for another short stint away (not "away" away, just out of state). Peanut took it hard. She worked herself into a tremedous state at dinner, after a tiring day of play school and quite possibly with a cheeky stomach bug on the side.

It ended with an epic projectile vomit from my lap. While it mostly missed me, the vertical blinds were not so fortunate. And it just kept coming. It was like that scene from Team America, crossed with the Exorcist.

Poor Peanut. Poor bin.

Panzer has decided the world is her toilet. Except the outside bit of the world - that's too cold. I send her outside regularly (in a doggy coat!) but she spends the whole time trying to get back in rather than getting about her business.

So, since the outside part of her world won't do, that leaves my floor.... I have put down paper and tried to train her onto it, but she is a sneaky leaker and is very hard to catch in the act. I usually find her puddles in the dark with my feet.

Poor feet. Poor bin.

Panzer is also an incorrigible chewer. This was totally expected and she is well supplied with toys (Mr A spoils her rotten!) but it doesn't seem to help. She prefers the lure of the forbidden. Including shoes, pencils, my iPad case, my phone, books, chair legs.... *sigh*

Her greatest act of rebellion occurred this morning, when she thoroughly ripped up her completely unsullied wee-paper then shat in the middle of the kitchen. (At least it wasn't a big steamer on a library book, like last week.)

Poor floor. Poor bin.

I need to take out shares in the paper towel industry.

And possibly buy apology flowers for the bin man.

I do know I need more newspaper.

Off to the shops!

23 comments:

  1. Oh, poor Mrs Accidental. Stuff the floor and the bin!

    Here's hoping you find no more puddles with your feet, and that Peanut is feeling much better with it out than in.

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    1. Careful, you'll start me on a self-pity spiral, I'm perilously close!

      Peanut was much better with it out, she had that weird post spew endorphin rush kids get and danced around the house! I think she'll survive ;)

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  2. I do wish you wouldn't do that to me, I missed you for a couple of days I couldn't get my Mrs A 'fix' thought something may have happend. Poor Peanut, I hate it when my little ones are sick. My little miss nearly 3 through up for the first time about 2mths ago, poor thing didn't know what to do I think she was trying to swallow it. Yucky. Sounds like Panzer is teething, try going to the butchers and getting a marrow bone cut down ( a full size one would be bigger that her) as for the other end of the situation take her to the toilet as soon as she wakes and as soon as she's finished eating that's when they tend to want to toilet most. Give her a treat out side when she's done she'll learn quick. So good to hear from you again good luck and have a gr8 day. Jodie:-)

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    1. Sorry Jodie! I did think of you when I skipped two days... Don't worry, I'm back in the swing of things now, it just took a little adjusting to get the new routine down. Hope you had a great day too!

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  3. You are brave, little children and a puppy, Im afraid I wouldnt cope with steamers in nappies and steamers on the floor.......

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    1. Looks like the rewards bag is working...I should have done this years ago with the children...I am wishing a steamer free day for you...and a sit down and a cup of tea with well behaved doggies....I cant help with any doggie business, steamer or otherwise, I am completely a chook and rabbit gal....x

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  4. My 'three' are desperate for a puppy....I'm not sure I'm ready for an extra mess-maker yet. At least a puppy won't have a spelling list to learn :)

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    1. Don't speak too soon on the spelling lists, Mr A is convinced she is **super** smart... watch this space! Or not ;)

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  5. Toilet training puppies? Fun. Try bribery, if you haven't tried it already, and word or hand commands. I had Bailey-dog trained in 2 days by taking him outside every half-hour and would firmly say "toilet". When he'd go, he'd be rewarded with a treat and praise. He cottoned on so quick he started going to the back door himself, so I'd take him out thinking he had to go, but he'd only pretend to do something in the hope of getting another treat. Cheeky puppy. But at least I knew I had him trained.
    Although, I can't get him to anything I want him to now unless I bribe him with food stuffs. Dog is too smart for his own good... Or my good. Whatever.
    ~S.

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    1. Want to come and visit? "Mrs A's Bed and Breakfast, cheap rates, free for successful puppy trainers. Clean floors not guaranteed"

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    2. Oh, Mrs A, you are going to be so impressed by how quickly they can learn. And toilet training is the easy part. ;)
      ~S.

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  6. I agree with above comments. When we got Moss he not only chewed everything but also piddled on everything and laid out quite a few brown road lines about the place....I nearly had a melt down and got rid of him. He started out as a family dog and when it became clear it was exactly like having a new (un-nappied) toddler in the house, he quickly became hubby's dog. I then learned that hubby didn't put much punch into discipline and training so I started myself. Like the above comments - took him out very regularly (the gaps get longer as they get older)to a special toilet place, used a command word (a very unoriginal "toilet" and didn't let him hang about for more than five minutes. If he went, then big love and praise as reward...if he didn't leave it a while and try again. when they make a mess inside you have to clean it up with something that removes the smell completely or they see it as 'marked'as a toilet place...there are special sprays on the market but I'm told any amonia/bleach based product works....I don't use harsh chems usually but I used to attack any steaming messages or puddles with those anti-bac wipes and poop bags....they have a scent (the wipes). The chewing we have stopped by giving him his own special toys and training him with 'leave'which means he drops what he is holding/has stolen and you swap it for one of his toys and give him praise for chewing it. The book I used only used yelling at or telling off in dangerous situations - preferred praising for doing something correct. It does stop, they do grow up and with a regular training sesh (10 or 20 mins each night) on the important stuff you will have Panzer whipped into shape in no time :)...although I am still waiting for Moss to sit placidly on my feet as I knit by the fire...psher!

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    1. Ok, I'm taking all this to heart...

      I've been training her with treats and regular toilet breaks for three hours now, I have a very attentive dog, only one floor puddle, and she's sleeping by my feet while I blog... I think you are all onto something!

      I deeply appreciate the time you have all taken to give me advice. It's working. Keep it up, please!

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  7. Dude, you have a blog. I'm totally stalking you now. And this is yet another reason for me to stay here in my warmer-lakeside area rather than moving in next to you - your bins are too gross :D (Sick cats make for pretty gross bins too.. one thing I don't miss about lack-of-pet.)

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  8. No advice, but lots of encouragement. Stick with it girl and get
    Mr A on the case when he gets back - just as long as the kids don't want to 'help' with the clearing up......

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    1. Peanut did a pretty good job of it... she cleaned before I caught her!

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  9. Just had a thought. Dogs usually hate the smell of citrus, citronella, lavender, eucalyptus etc, so a good few drops of essential oil mixed with a cup of white vinegar and the same of water, sprayed where you DON'T want an Accidental Happening, should push her off to where you want her to go!

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    1. I'm using a lavender and citrus spray, so that's good! It's just a bought one, I really should make my own, we're using so much of it.

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  10. Never mind, as with children she will be a teenager before you know it, and all your troubles will be behind you...*ahem*.

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  11. We also have a Bin of Shame. Or did until someone stole it off the street this week. And it was full of the, er, by-products of having a ten month old baby. They're not going to enjoy emptying that bin. A case of the punishment fitting the crime there.

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  12. I have nothing but hugs.
    Hope that Mr A is not away for too long and that the girls will get used to his coming and goings.

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