Monday, February 27, 2012


There is a house in my community that is full of children's toys. A tiny table and chair. Soft teddies and balls and a farmyard set.

But there are no babies. No kids. Just two parents with empty arms.

My dear friends have lost another baby, their third late term pregnancy loss. They buried their first, a full term, beautiful, perfect baby daughter in a tiny white coffin. They lost their second a year and a day ago. A little boy, also perfect, but too young for this world. And now, again, today, they lost another baby daughter. They have been waiting, praying and hoping. She has been on bed rest, struggling through mind numbing boredom and constant fear that this baby will be torn from her womb, too. He has been working full time, studying part time, and nursing her with gentle, constant love and attention.

Now the worst has happened. Their precious child came into this world this morning and stayed for just fifteen minutes, then left to spend eternity with her brother and sister. Her mother and father left the hospital with empty arms.

Her parents are devastated. Their family are devastated. The whole, tight knit community is devastated.

And I am left searching for meaning, for reason. Why? WHY? If there is a God with a bigger plan, how could this possibly be part of it? How can continuously breaking the hearts of two devout people be necessary to achieve the outcome He wants? Surely an all powerful deity, this God of Love, could find an easier, kinder way?

I wish I had a clever line to end this on, something to wrap it up neatly and leave you on a positive, but I don't. I just don't. I guess real life is just never neat.


  1. I am speechless after reading our post. I have had several miscarriages too. Just how they are coping at this moment is beyond me. If I didn't have faith in God I would really be in worst shape. Naturally I will be praying for them. Many things both terrifically bad and things wonderfully miraculous are hard to believe when they happen. .... but they do. No one can understand this side of heaven. I understand your bewilderment. I am so sorry for the loss they have again had to endure. Sarah

  2. Empty tears my heart to read this...
    For anyone that has conceived a child to know that baby is inside them growing, if only for a few weeks, what, even a few days...and to lose is a feeling you can not describe...I still grieve for a baby lost only months ago...the what if's, the plans, the heart goes out to your friends...and may their arms be full one day so their hearts can maybe heal a little....

  3. Oh wow, how terribly, terribly sad. I cannot imagine their grief and pain and like you I cannot fathom why their God would do this to them.

    As Sarah said - ' No one can understand this side of heaven' - what a beautiful thought.

    My nephew and his wife had 2 beautiful children then lost their next 2 babies mid-term. Time was running out as she has turned 4o years old - then came the news of a new pregnancy. Arlie J was born one just one week ago, pink, healthy and 7lbs.
    I do hope your friends can have this happiness in their lives. God knows they deserve it.


    (I came over from Down to Earth).

  4. I have lost twin girls at 32 weeks... I do understand your friends' pain- and yours. When I get to heaven I am going to ask the LORD why He took them without me even given the chance to say goodbye or see them. It takes a lot of faith to keep believing in a loving God, but really no matter what the reason was, I still would be asking "But why?" The hope that keeps me from going insane with grief even 41 years later, is the knowledge that I will see them in glory. That faith is all I have to keep me going until I go to the children to whom all I could give was a name. I will be praying for your friends..and for their family.

  5. I don't understand the "Why?" either. But I may be able to offer some hope.
    I recently read a book from the library called "Heaven is for Real", the story of a real 3 year old, Colton Burpo, who went to heaven during an appendix operation. He came back, and his parents had no idea that anything unusual had happened to him. Over the next few months they gradually figured it out by things he said, and answers he gave to their questions.
    One of the most startling things he said was that he had met his "other sister", a miscarriage his parents had never mentioned in front of him. She was older than him in heaven, and was very happy to see him there. His parents asked what her name was (they hadn't agreed on a name), and he startled them again by saying that she didn't have a name, "You guys didn't name her." They hadn't even known that the child they lost was a girl.
    Knowing that their "other daughter" was safe in heaven, and adopted by God himself, brought great comfort to Colton's parents. Maybe it would bring comfort to your friends to read this book. In any case, my prayers are with them.