A quick catch up...

I've finally come to the conclusion that mothering, full time work, and blogging can't coexist in my universe. Until I am in a position to blog more regularly (and I want to be!) I will just have to be satisfied with a monthly update. So, since it is now May, here is one for March....

In March, Daddy had been home for about two weeks. We were starting to settle in as a family again, and Baby and Daddy had re-bonded and were ecstatic in each other's company.

We spent most weekends doing family things: a trip to the wildlife park:

We walked up my favourite hill:

We went to a very dear friend's wedding and had another very dear friend take a family portrait:

And we had a slightly-belated-but-no-less-important first birthday party:

A girlfriend had my camera for the day and, despite assuring me that it was completely unintentional, the majority of the birthday shots feature either my rear end or a good look down my dress - Mr Awesome thinks the photos are great! This is one of the better ones.

And finally, I couldn't leave without the addition of a gratuitous Archie photo:

Happy March!

The Childcare Debate

The biggest hurdle for me returning to work was finding a decent childcare spot for baby. Someplace that will love and cherish her almost as much as I do. I thought this was a total pipedream.

Part time work was not an option for me - there has to be someone in the role full time, and there is no one in a similar situation with whom I can job share. This means baby is in care for a minimum of nine hours a day, longer if I get caught up with something urgent and can't get away. That's a minimum total of 45 hours a week, or 52% of her normal waking hours.

It kills me that she will be brought up during her most formative years by someone who isn't her Mummy. What if she isn't loved enough? What if she doesn't receive enough affection? What if there isn't enough guidance and discipline, or even worse, too much? What if she thinks I have deserted her entirely?  How do I tell if she likes the food I send? How do I know she is eating enough? What if the carer is the panicking type, and can't manage an emergency? What if a tropical cyclone comes in while I'm at work and sweeps my baby off to Oz? I have lain awake for many nights rolling these questions over like heavy mind stones.