The biggest hurdle for me returning to work was finding a decent childcare spot for baby. Someplace that will love and cherish her almost as much as I do. I thought this was a total pipedream.
Part time work was not an option for me - there has to be someone in the role full time, and there is no one in a similar situation with whom I can job share. This means baby is in care for a minimum of nine hours a day, longer if I get caught up with something urgent and can't get away. That's a minimum total of 45 hours a week, or 52% of her normal waking hours.
It kills me that she will be brought up during her most formative years by someone who isn't her Mummy. What if she isn't loved enough? What if she doesn't receive enough affection? What if there isn't enough guidance and discipline, or even worse, too much? What if she thinks I have deserted her entirely? How do I tell if she likes the food I send? How do I know she is eating enough? What if the carer is the panicking type, and can't manage an emergency? What if a tropical cyclone comes in while I'm at work and sweeps my baby off to Oz? I have lain awake for many nights rolling these questions over like heavy mind stones.