My sincere apologies, I will try and visit with you all a little more often. Maybe.
I try not to make too many promises these days, because I have discovered that with a wee bairn, the best scheme of manoeuvre is to not expect anything. Obviously, some things will always happen. Poop will always happen. But when the bub does that reverse-baby-doll-thing* sixteen gazillion times at her usual bedtime, instead of getting frustrated because she isn't doing what I expect, I just try to let that expectation go. It makes me a lot calmer, and helps me appreciate the moment a little more.
(*Remember those dolls that shut their eyes when you lay them down? This is the opposite, when bub somehow pops out of the deepest sleep and stares at you the second you put her in the crib!)
The other thing I try to remember is the saying
"this too shall pass".
This applies to the good and the bad. It reminds me that I should treasure the time I have with her while she is this small and gorgeous, because I'll never have it quite like this again. This helps me avoid the lure of trashy daytime TV and play more, zone out less. It also helps when it's late, and it seems like she will never go to sleep. Just the fact she has to eventually sleep sometime (please?) keeps me rocking, and patting, and singing..... and not going as crazy as I might.
Speaking of singing, I have discovered the truth in the saying that
"mothers have sung lullabies to their children
since the dawn of time,
to soothe them, and calm them,
but mostly to drown them out".
It really amazed me how well a lullaby works, and it also amazed me I could remember the ones my mother sang to me. They just seemed to come naturally. I know my grandmother sang them to my mother, and I like the idea that my little girl will sing them to her babies too. It makes me feel connected.
Please leave a comment if you come to visit, I'd love to meet you!