Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm still here

Wow, seems like we're so flex here at Accidental that we let whole months go by without checking in!

My sincere apologies, I will try and visit with you all a little more often. Maybe.
I try not to make too many promises these days, because I have discovered that with a wee bairn, the best scheme of manoeuvre is to not expect anything. Obviously, some things will always happen. Poop will always happen. But when the bub does that reverse-baby-doll-thing* sixteen gazillion times at her usual bedtime, instead of getting frustrated because she isn't doing what I expect, I just try to let that expectation go. It makes me a lot calmer, and helps me appreciate the moment a little more.
(*Remember those dolls that shut their eyes when you lay them down? This is the opposite, when bub somehow pops out of the deepest sleep and stares at you the second you put her in the crib!)

The other thing I try to remember is the saying

"this too shall pass".

This applies to the good and the bad. It reminds me that I should treasure the time I have with her while she is this small and gorgeous, because I'll never have it quite like this again. This helps me avoid the lure of trashy daytime TV and play more, zone out less. It also helps when it's late, and it seems like she will never go to sleep. Just the fact she has to eventually sleep sometime (please?) keeps me rocking, and patting, and singing..... and not going as crazy as I might.
Speaking of singing, I have discovered the truth in the saying that
"mothers have sung lullabies to their children
since the dawn of time,
to soothe them, and calm them,
but mostly to drown them out".
It really amazed me how well a lullaby works, and it also amazed me I could remember the ones my mother sang to me. They just seemed to come naturally. I know my grandmother sang them to my mother, and I like the idea that my little girl will sing them to her babies too. It makes me feel connected.
Please leave a comment if you come to visit, I'd love to meet you!


  1. Wow! Your post really brought a smile to my face and some encouragement. I found your blog via another blog...I think it was Simple Mom. Anyhow, I have a 11 month old daughter and am 7 months pregnant with a boy who is due August 1st. I've been really aware lately of living in the moment. I say "This too shall pass" to myself when I find it hard to keep going or when I have to get up in the middle of the night to comfort her. I cherish those times even when all I really want is my pillow. I've been singing her the same lullaby's that my mother sang to me...and you are right...it makes you feel connected to all the mothers before you.

    I'm glad I found your blog! Keep writing!

  2. I came over from Simple Mom too. It is so hard for me being a planner to live in the moment. There ARE times when I am sort of forced to live in the moment though, like when my daughter was colicky as an infant. I did tell myself, "this too shall pass." And it did, although now I have different "this too shall pass" feelings. (Like right now, when my 2 1/2 yo is laying on the back of my 1 yo who is yelling in protest. "This too shall pass."
    Hang in there. You are looking on the bright side, and that is great. Being a mom is hard but motherhood brings joy like nothing else.
    Great post!

  3. I'm not even sure where I linked to your blog from, but have been visiting for a few months. I am a married (childless as of yet) lawyer in Boston, and love hearing how you are handling this transition. Thanks for the blog.