Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Let them eat cake

We live in wedding-shop-central. There are about eleventy seven wedding stores within a minutes walk from our CityCottage. As a result, Peanut is currently mildly obsessed with weddings. Loves them. Plans her own. Intends to have a bright red floucy dress. Focuses on the provision of ample cake. (Of course, since she's three she doesn't actually like cake. Being an icing aficionado she sees cake as nothing but the slightly annoying but generally necessary delivery system.)  But this wedding has one caveat.

The bride, in her mind, will be marrying another bride. Why? Because she loves her best friend Victoria fourth most in the world, and of the higher ranking peeps, Mummy and Daddy are already taken and apparently marrying your own sister is taboo. So it will be a girl on girl wedding.

Besides, she considers boys of her age to be stinky, overly violent and insufficiently communicative. She wants someone who will build a house with her, not run in screaming, fly kick it over, then soil their own pants. I can see her point. (There were two... interesting boys at her last preschool, both with behavioural difficulties. It's unfortunate she's made a assessment of an entire gender based on these two squeaky wheels, as she knows some lovely, gentle, emotionally intelligent lads too. I'm trying to talk her round.)

But back to our well planned numptials.

Luckily, Peanut doesn't yet know that currently a lady marrying another lady is not recognised under our backwards, discriminatory laws. And that's completely my fault because because every time she mentions choosing a partner, I remind her that one day she will meet a nice boy or girl who she really loves, and if they love her back, then they might be the person she chooses to marry. Or chooses not marry. Because we are not the slightest bit religious, and it is her life, and her promise, so it follows it should be her choice.

She does know, however, that if I don't get grandkids, then I will be exceptionally cross. For some things, the things that really matter, it's worth taking a stand.


  1. You should be very proud....

    Peanut is displaying exactly why people should get married.. because of the person, not because of their sex, religious reasons or family pressure.

    I hope peanut and Victoria are very happy together :-)

  2. Happy New Year and welcome back Mrs Accident! You've been so busy that I'd forgotten to check on you for a while.

    That Peanut has her head screwed on right! Nice sane, normal child who hasn't been fuddled by society yet. Work on keeping her grounded like that.

    When I left Army, I missed a lot but not the constant removals. THen we 'downshifted' to a farm and I had to fit the 5 bedroom home that I'd lived in 16 years (and raised my kids in) into a two bedroom farm cottage. A very beautiful cottage with a lot of built in storage but soooooooo much went to Salvos, Lifeline book sale (four car loads!!) and the garage sale from hell. I was very stressed and that was without any wee ones to wrangle at the same time.

    Very well done, go to the top of the class and give yourself a hug from all of us.

  3. A friend of mine told her parents when she was about 4 that she was going to marry her girlfriend. She was scolded for it and made to feel terrible for saying such a thing because girls are (apparently) supposed to only marry boys. She has struggled with that moment her entire life because, as it turns out, my friend is gay. One single moment caused a life of anxiety, and I can't help but think how different her life might have been had that conversation when she was 4 been more like the one you had with Peanut.
    So I just wanted to say that I love your ethos on parenting: You are Mother of the Year in my books.