Friday, May 18, 2012

Fancy Pants

My friend Sarah (long time IRL friend, short time Accidental blog discoverer) posted today on people who dress their toddlers in silk.

And that got me thinking...

I took the girls to a concert this morning.

Not as flash as it sounds - Peanut was going with her playschool anyway, so Bug and I tagged along since it was held in the brass band hut on the corner of our street. I'm all about convenience.

Straight afterwards we headed back to the girls' playschool and playgroup. I had dressed the kids in their normal play clothes, which in this weather is usually tracksuit pants and some layered t-shirts, under a jumper or jacket.

Now, let me be perfectly honest. These clothes have a patina of wear. Which is a nice way to say the odd stain or rub mark. Not huge ones - just a stray grass mark on the knees, or a bit of discoloration on the neck of a t-shirt that has seen one too many dribbled apples (I'm looking at you, Bug).

I don't mind this at all. The kids don't look shabby, just (in my view) appropriately dressed for the activities they do. Activities like painting with stainy paint, or running and skidding on their knees in the black-rubber-topped play ground. Activities like "being kids".

When they wear clothes that are cheap and easily replaceable I can let them be as active and messy as they choose. They are happy doing what they please, and I am happy that I don't need to nag them about keeping clean. (Although I do wish Peanut would stop wiping her fingers on her shirt. I'm not *made* of laundry powder, I *make* laundry powder. There's a difference!)

So, back to the story... At the concert there was a sweet little girl who was dressed in a grey woolen smock dress, red stockings and shiny black patent leather shoes. She looked adorable, and her mother was understandably very proud of what she was wearing. Unfortunately, the mum was so proud she would barely let the kid move. While the other children were dancing (and Bug was dancing so hard she fell over, then kept right on grooving, while lying on the floor) this poor girl was made to dance right beside her mum, and asked to calm down if she got too excited so she wouldn't scratch her fancy shoes.

Now, I have no idea if the mum was about to head off somewhere more important for the day, and just brought the girl to the concert as a pleasant diversion on the way. (but I suspect not, as Mum was still in her Uggs... but maybe she was dropping her daughter somewhere? I'm not sure.) But I think the mum probably dressed the kid up in her best duds to show her off a bit. And that's fine, it's something I'm equally guilty of on numerous occasions.

Still, I was glad I saw that mum and her daughter today, because it reminded me that young children in general don't care about fancy clothes and all that goes with it, except when it interrupts their essential job of being a kid. (With the notable exception of dress-ups, of course.)

Peanut and Bug are happier and more comfortable in their play clothes, and they arguably learn and experience more too, since they have greater freedom of action.

I know the day may come when the girls prefer to sit pretty dresses rather than play soccer in the playground (not that it ever came for me!) but today was a reminder for me that I should probably (where possible*) try to match their clothing with their world view, instead of inflicting my own agenda. And hopefully, dressing them in practical clothes will lead them to learning practical skills and being practical people.

So, dear readers, what are your views on play clothes? Am I out of line dressing my girls mainly in shabby-not-so-chic? Will my cunning plan backfire?

*I do retain complete veto power for Important Occasions... and the right to declare an Important Occasion at will. 




21 comments:

  1. I'm not precious about the clothes the kids wear. I get upset when Boyo rips holes in his brand new jeans within an hour of wearing them for the first time, but otherwise I don't really care. They do have clothes I've designated Nice which they arent allowed to wear for gardening, or trips to the beach, or painting, and mainly get kept for church or visiting people who have no backyard, but even then.. if its cotton, it washes (except for paint/textas). Who cares if it gets dirt on it?

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    1. Exactly. I find crayola washables textas are, and the crayola washable paint is too. That's all I buy, and I chuck or donate the others before they get to the art shelf, it's not worth the hassle.

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  2. Dress them in whatever you think is appropriate for the occasion. Like you my kids attended pre school in tidy but older clothes. They could run, jump, play in the mud, paint or whatever and I didn't worry. If the clothes finally got to grotty to be seen out in public then they were designated "at home' clothes. Now with them being 19, 16 and 13 we still have "at home" clothes and "going out clothes". It saves a lot of hassle when DS comes up from the shed after helping Dad with the grease gun...vbg. It's lovely to dress kids, and even ourselves, up in super nice clothes but give me the comfy, doesn't matter if I spill milk on them kind any day.

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  3. my children are now aged 9,10(almost 11),12,14,15,and 26 when they where little they wore designer clothing that i bought at 2nd hand shops and ebay for, but at home they just wore older scuffy clothes,,all of my children hate being dressed up they like relaxed unfusses clothing so as they have grown I have had to change..i would like my girls to wear more dresses and skirts but they are just not comfortable...and I want them to really experience all of life and you cannot do that all frocked up .

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  4. Little m is in all hand me downs from her big sister, gotta love that...she loves that they were her big sisters before her...anyway...I am mainly a Target girl, easy to buy, easy to care for and when they are stained and yuk, who cares, in the rag bag they go.........I am not against any form of mud, paint, textas, you name it...its all welcome here..........I have a bucket of mud stained clothes soaking at them moment, she had a great time down the back today with mud, who was I to stop her....kids play, they get dirty, dont restrict their learning and enjoying themselves just for the sake of a velvet dress..........I am the first to put my hand up when someone says do you want some clothes, hand me downs....not because Im totally poor, but because they are CLOTHES....my kids are not fussy because someone else has worn them...in fact they love it...especially if they have come from someone...'cool'...lol...I used to have a job where clothes were really, really important, I spent pay packets on clothes and shoes......but I dont know, its all changed and I just dont see the point in spending $$$$$$$ on clothes, especially for kids....

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    1. I had three girl cousins above me and I loved the hand me downs! So much history, and you are right, the older girls were so coooool ;)

      My girls don't get many handmedowns, we don't really know anyone close! We give plenty, though.

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    2. Yep, we get lots of lovely hand-me-downs :D

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  5. Oh i love children's clothes, sorry, it was Fred Bare, Catamini, Esprit, Country Road, Guess, Seed all the way with me (i found every sale & wholesale outlet, don't worry, didn't blow cash on this gear, half of the time it was less than Target prices but 10 times the quality & fashion sense) but i fashion is my hobby!! Plus it all lasted hand-me-downs through my 3 girls & so much made it to my son also, including shoes. So i would have been the mother with the child in the woollen ensemble, tights, leather shoes, patent of course, however, let her do cartwheels, back flips & dance, absolutely. I refuse to buy clothes i can't get stains out of (taught by my Navy wife mother, there has never been a stain - chocolate to rust - she can't remove!!) Sure you get the odd hole in the beautiful tights, but i can darn them or make those the tights you wear under a skirt, not a shorter dress - ways around everything in this budget conscious household, soldier's aren't paid that well!! Finally, one of my biggest joys of investing in children's clothes is that my children rarely grow out of things, they just get longer not wider, so many of these beautiful clothes have lasted 5 years times several children. Also, i have less in their wardrobes that most. Ditto jammies, yes my 4 wear Peter Alexander, but they last, they look great & they wear them for ages (plus 15% off sales go a long way times 6 people) & cut down on the heating bill in brrrrr Canberra. Happy dressing, love Posie
    PS plenty of people knock my choice to put children in designer gear, but guess who is first to ask for hand-me-downs?? Jokes on them as i am keeping most of the best gear so i can make patchwork quilts for them & for me, when they leave home. Keeps going around, nothing wasted!!

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    1. See, I don't mind the nicer brands, I think they last longer and wash better anyway, and actually hold together to GET handed down, so cost per wear is very low. It's the being precious about the clothes in a play situation that bothers me!

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  6. Nah, I reckon you are on completely the right track there. I used to cringe everytime someone brought a baby into the library dressed in six layers of lace and silk, pink bow snapped on with a bit of elastic because they hadn't even grown enough hair to hold a clip yet....and then the poor tackers would try to crawl and keep getting tangled in the skirts and lace and falling on their little faces! My girl is a tomboy who's Nanna still hasn't given in sending her dresses but she never wears a one - won't even let me tie her hair back in a pony tail...but she's happy, she plays footy, rides horses and does all things filthy without a care...and I make sure that all her clothes (bought in the boys section) are extremely untatty so she doesn't look hoboish lol My boy is too young to care less and actually prefers to be naked....a completely different issue later down the track :z

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    1. Ok, I do have to admit, when the girls were just crawling and starting to toddle, and we were going somewhere they needed to sit still or at least stay very close to me, I used to put them in a long dress to hobble them!

      I reckon those headband bows are pretty hilarious. I've had a chuckle at them a few times :)

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    2. LMAO love it....I had never thought of it as a slow down measure - could have done with hobbling a number of times...the amount of times I've been running across the supermarket after OFG and wondering WHY I didn't tie his shoe laces together (or, for that matter, buy him shoes with laces)!?!? LOL

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  7. Yep, I'm not precious about the clothes my kids wear. Some are good clothes and some are cheap and nasty but either way I let them play. Honestly they grow out of the clothes so quickly I don't care if they stain' em!

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  8. I have a vague sense of good clothes and clothes that are everyday and childcare clothes. However I want my kids first and foremost to be comfortable and unlimited. It really bothers me when I see kids who's activities are restricted by their clothing - and these kids are almost always girls. Sigh.
    That said, my almost 4 year old daughter chooses her own outfits and clothes. Sometimes not as practical as I would like!!

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    1. It does always seem to be the girls!

      And I have that problem too, trying to foster Peanut's growing independence but still have her dressed appropriately for the occasion. Heck, even for the weather! I usually just offer her up two or three suitable outfits and let her choose. It usually works. Usually...

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  9. Having identical twins, I used to love (and get very excited!) about dressing the boys in all sorts of cute outfits. Now they're 2 and it's all about rough and tumble gear.
    They wear mismatched socks, cheap-o Target trackies and Cotton On T-shirts, but lordy, they are happy!
    I think it would be a different story altogether if I had a girl :)

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  10. I LOVE seeing kids who look like real kids - all dirt and scruff. They'll probably grow more girly and clothes-conscious as they get older, but then again they may not. What fun to see what happens!

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  11. My rule is not to be precious about baby clothes - if I dress my son in something fancy and it gets thrown up on, banana mashed into it or grubby from crawling around then so be it. I figure it's up to me to choose clothes he can be a baby in and up to him to get on with messing them up. Teamwork!

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  12. I come from quite poor farming folk, and clothes in generations past were functional, not for show, and were worn until they wore out! So I'm claiming that the fact that my kids are usually in stained, scuffed-up stuff is in my genes. Still, it's nice to have some nice things to wear to church or parties! It never stays nice for long though :-(

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  13. We had different clothes for different occasions. It never stopped us from climbing the mulberry tree behind the church in our 'good' clothes. I'm glad yours can enjoy themselves. That's really what being a kid is all about. I mean, how many times as an adult can you fall over and just keep on dancing?

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  14. I love playing dress ups with my daughter for a special occasion, but I give in to the fact that she IS a toddler and that most outfits don't last more than ten minutes without a stain! I am lucky to have some beautiful dresses given to her as gifts, and she wears those to parties, but many times she's had to change into the pair of trackies that I'd packed just in case, due to one accident or another.

    At home and on regular days she gets about in the usual old stained gear, because we like getting grubby outside or doing messy play and craft.

    I feel a bit sorry for that poor kid not being allowed to dance her heart out! Perhaps her mum was taking her to have some photos taken straight afterwards.

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