tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post9139027092499052741..comments2023-04-11T22:53:39.343+10:00Comments on CityCottage: All my friends have nanniesThe Accidental Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-7078259145302826872012-07-17T21:36:41.305+10:002012-07-17T21:36:41.305+10:00I never saw this post when you first wrote it! It&...I never saw this post when you first wrote it! It's great, I love it! Also that you're beautiful enough to acknowledge that nannies are right for some families, but it's just not right for you. Wonderfully written!Givinya De Elbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07746896375826415145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-56020179705010023922012-07-11T22:49:27.843+10:002012-07-11T22:49:27.843+10:00So, so sorry...i had no idea my comment was that l...So, so sorry...i had no idea my comment was that long until i just saw it posted!!! I shall go away and be quiet now lol!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07586610467519318424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-34510318692168616402012-07-11T22:48:43.380+10:002012-07-11T22:48:43.380+10:00When i had my teen 16 years ago i had to return to...When i had my teen 16 years ago i had to return to work when she was 6 months as Dad wanted to stay home with her for 6 months...fair enough but goodness how i grieved for the loss of time with her. Turns out he couldn't handle it so she came to work with me as i worked in child care...i then became a single parent who absolutely needed to work to help us both survive...i was lucky though that she was still always with me as i still worked in child care...of course i had to pay huge fees to look after my own child!<br />I now have twin 2 yr olds and a very supportive partner who is a wonderful hands on Daddy. We were able to make the decision that i wanted to stay at home and look after them and not have to 'pay' for the privelige.It would also cost more to have them in childcare and me not able to do all the things i do now in the home if i went back to work. We can do it by scraping by but i know not everyone can...i couldn't as a single Mum and i have so much guilt about that still!<br />I moved on from child care as the pay is shocking, hours terrible when you have small children and honestly it broke my heart when i worked in the baby and toddler rooms and parents would drop them off still in their night nappy and pick them up when i had bathed and fed them dinner...honestly what parenting was there left to do? I found myself becoming too judgemental and often sad to see children in daycare for so many hours. <br />I would implore parents that if they have to put younger babies and children into care for long hours to please choose family Day care over a centre. It is a more homelike environment and less of a shock to young children....my girls now go to see a lovely lady once a week to play with other children and do a few things without Mummy....and i can get to the doctor and do a few things with and for my teen. I laboured over that decision for a long time and still feel guilty every week but with no family support close by and postnatal depression threatening to take over i had to realise i needed that break and it was ok.<br />Anyway, goodness, i do go on...all i really wanted to say is that i loved your story about sitting on the step and shall try to remember that tomorrow when the thought that perhaps i am missing out by not going to work crosses my mind again. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be a SAHM finally after all these years although i do respect that everyone has different circumstances!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07586610467519318424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-76420600075771402332012-07-11T20:48:28.942+10:002012-07-11T20:48:28.942+10:00I totally agree with all the above. I had children...I totally agree with all the above. I had children to raise them myself not to have someone else raise them for me. I tried daycare with my middle one but it didn't last long neither of us handled it well, Im probably more scared from the whole experience than he is lol. I work nights so that one of us could be at home for our babies and its been hard but it works well. Oh and we saw Brave last night it was awsome loved it. Jodie.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-62567342950923915152012-07-11T14:23:38.807+10:002012-07-11T14:23:38.807+10:00Nope, not May. Pia. Though I have trouble seeing P...Nope, not May. Pia. Though I have trouble seeing Pia as someone who'd ever choose to have kids to begin with..Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03589211988263088628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-90366048362080233802012-07-11T08:49:49.977+10:002012-07-11T08:49:49.977+10:00Oh, wouldn't a chauffeur be lovely!
I would ...Oh, wouldn't a chauffeur be lovely! <br /><br />I would love to be a stay at home forever mum, I want to be on canteen duty and see all the assemblies and help with reading, but I also want a job to fall back on if something happens to my handsome soldier - my skills at anything other than running, shooting and bossing people around are either sorely lacking or not recorded.The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-80349827261456174442012-07-11T08:06:19.386+10:002012-07-11T08:06:19.386+10:00Trust me I would rather she spent the day with a g...Trust me I would rather she spent the day with a grandparent or uncle rather then daycare people.<br /><br />Unfortunately grandparents and uncles aren't are chain of establishments around the country. <br /><br />I love the crafty stuff she does at day care... it's a nice surprise when I go pick her up. They also do 'journals' where you can read what your child gets up to. It's cute.<br /><br />I can understand how women feel stuck... work and keep your skills up to date etc or stay home with child/ren. If the cost of full time care exceeds what the second income is.... not much point working is there?Diggerellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14029416685454359150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-91506186695694501312012-07-11T07:55:27.724+10:002012-07-11T07:55:27.724+10:00Was it May? It was, wasn't it... She's bee...Was it May? It was, wasn't it... She's been saying that for years! I suspect she'll go all helicopter if she actually does breed...The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-42223017586104868502012-07-11T07:54:02.474+10:002012-07-11T07:54:02.474+10:00That's a completely different kettle of fish! ...That's a completely different kettle of fish! <br /><br />It really saddens me to think of the stress those mums must be under, knowing what they would prefer but being completely unable to make it happen. <br /><br />I am so thankful Australia has paid maternity leave laws. It can only be a positive for a nation to have their next generation given a running start.The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-8256667855784399872012-07-11T07:48:14.131+10:002012-07-11T07:48:14.131+10:00I was very lucky with Peanut's first carer (sh...I was very lucky with Peanut's first carer (she was in family day care for almost a year while I returned for work. I had to, it was in my contract and we couldn't afford to break it). She adored Peanut. ADORED her. So much so it was a little creepy, actually, I reckon she was half a year away from suing for custody... But then again, Peanut was in care for ten hours a day, compared with the two hours she had awake with me - it got to the point where she preferred her carer, just through familiarity. I was devastated. But also thankful Peanut was in such a good care situation when I couldn't be there as much as I wanted.The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-60513062191193341692012-07-11T07:40:59.355+10:002012-07-11T07:40:59.355+10:00No, totally, absolutely not selfish. Especially wh...No, totally, absolutely not selfish. Especially when there's just you at home! Everyone needs a break sometimes, and if there's no family or close friends up to the job of regularly caring for the children a formal arrangement is perfect. Especially if the kid enjoys it! Every time I have a break I come back a better, more refreshed and enthusiastic mum, so it's not just me who benefits from time away. Peanut goes to "school" six hours a week, she loves it too. :)The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-3763850579622497562012-07-11T04:40:41.488+10:002012-07-11T04:40:41.488+10:00I've been a SAHM for almost 14 years now. It w...I've been a SAHM for almost 14 years now. It was hard giving up my work outside the home (I was an attorney running my own 4-attorney firm), but worth it. You pointed out the moments you'd miss out on while paying another woman to love your children... but the thing is, that's not the deal, according to most nannies. They're there to tend to your kids, not to love them. And that's the heart-breaker, because we really DO want our kids to be cared for by people who care deeply for them.Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.comhttp://housewifehowtos.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-83947843643021403742012-07-10T22:38:31.321+10:002012-07-10T22:38:31.321+10:00Here in the U.S., it's gotten to where most fa...Here in the U.S., it's gotten to where most families cannot afford to have a parent at home. Seriously, incomes have been squashed so much that both parents must work just to feed the kids and provide shelter. Health care expenses are so high, too. It's really a shame. Also, retirement savings are best when offered by an employer, so career women who don't work do, in fact, suffer when they drop out of the workforce. Sometimes, they can't even get back into their fields of expertise because moms are huge targets for discrimination.<br /><br />I am home with my kids because oddly enough, I cannot afford to work outside the home! Daycare expenses would be more than I would make. I'm very glad to have been home with the children the past two years, especially since my son has some health issues (nothing too serious, but he couldn't tolerate formula and had some other problems). However, it has meant living not a "kind-of" frugal lifestyle, but one that is at the edge of poverty--anything fun is paid for from windfalls or scrimping and saving for months. <br /><br />Anyway, this is a heated topic in my country. Too much guilt for moms who have to work. And very little employer support--our family leave after birth is only offered to workers from larger companies and it's unpaid. No wonder so many people go back at 6 weeks!Starr https://www.blogger.com/profile/03466102837363060940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-64361516953048014412012-07-10T22:16:27.469+10:002012-07-10T22:16:27.469+10:00I put my girl into day care once a week... and I d...I put my girl into day care once a week... and I don't work<br /><br />Is that a selfish thing to do?<br /><br />She needs to learn how to mingle with other kids when I'm not there. And to learn how to listen to instructions from someone that's not me. Besides she enjoys it. <br /><br />If it was something I knew she hated, and was intensely distressed every time she went then she wouldn't go. Simple.<br /><br />Sometimes when you're on your own and you NEED time alone there is no other choice<br /><br />I agree 6 weeks is a bit young to put a child in day care full time.<br /><br />Would love a nanny for Teething management, Tantrum control and household maintenance :D <br /><br />can you call one for just those jobs?Diggerellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14029416685454359150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-24153821732021004262012-07-10T21:03:43.154+10:002012-07-10T21:03:43.154+10:00Those moments are gold, aren't they? Love them...Those moments are gold, aren't they? Love them.<br /><br />On the childcare front I tend to feel that most people try to make the best decisions they can for their families. I consider myself so lucky that I was able to decide whether or not to go back to work. To be honest, Tiny J is such an outgoing, friendly soul he'd probably love going to daycare. I know I enjoyed it when I was a little older than him. But I love being with him too much to do that. I was completely career focused before he came along and never expected myself to be so intoxicated with this small person but I am. For all that I sometimes miss the external validation of work (and the regular drip of money into my bank account) being with him is better in every way.Katherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07732111484220607356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-73642557561692172862012-07-10T20:35:00.543+10:002012-07-10T20:35:00.543+10:00I have some tough days and I find myself wishing I...I have some tough days and I find myself wishing I could go back to work, but only for a moment. Beautiful post - I love the sound of the rain.Catherine Rodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02893083162115591562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-13063056578871634342012-07-10T20:26:40.526+10:002012-07-10T20:26:40.526+10:00I was a real career chickie before, with a M-degre...I was a real career chickie before, with a M-degree and professional registration. Then I had my boy, went back to work at almost 4 months (had a nanny had home and could work flexi-hours so went home at 2 with 100's of papers to mark)...and jubilated when I could escape a year later. It coincided with a move to Australia = no nanny, no cleaning lady, no gardener, and I loved it. The nanny and gardener eventually prayed us back to RSA, but I'm still at home, have 2 boys now and am really really grateful for the opportunity to stay at home. <br />(Nanny now the halfday cleaner and gardener also still here )Stelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08945408396434091632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-55159693393635106692012-07-10T19:49:10.462+10:002012-07-10T19:49:10.462+10:00The key to nailing being a stay at home mummy &...The key to nailing being a stay at home mummy & actually babysitting your own children, living sensibly & watching your pennies, is that you can STAY HOME when they go to school - exercise when you wish, dress up, have lunches out & a lovely life. Children actually get busier when they hit school age, high school age is relentless, so enjoy it now. Marrying a soldier who is constantly deploying is a bit of a challenge with 4 children, so we decided early on that i'd be the constant parent in the family & i've never been happier, less pressure & i don't feel like i miss my career (pharmacology) as my children are so interesting & fun, sporty & chatty. I haven't drawn a salary for 11 years & trust me, when you have 4 babies with a corporal, money is NOT pouring in, we were just very very tight (cloth nappies, breast feeding, no babysitters) & we made it. Life's a bit different now as my husband is a WO, we've even managed a new car & private school, i'm still home & living just as carefully though, catching every moment of our children's' lives, sometimes i'm the only one available to. If we got a Nanny, she'd be company for me, poor thing, but i would love the help with 4 children, parties & sports each weekend, just a Driving Nanny, love Posieposie blogs Jennie McClellandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07422068499429667636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-77756767137143453652012-07-10T19:42:27.111+10:002012-07-10T19:42:27.111+10:00ditto all of the above. My eldest is 18, I have 4 ...ditto all of the above. My eldest is 18, I have 4 teens and I love my parenting job. I think they need me just as much now as they did when they were younger, just in a different way. <br /><br />Great post.<br />cheers Katesimplelifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13397507005757292686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-35403901274882088702012-07-10T18:50:48.876+10:002012-07-10T18:50:48.876+10:00Gartcott, I'm so glad you hang around here, I ...Gartcott, I'm so glad you hang around here, I love your input. Thank you!The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-19094923721318357112012-07-10T18:18:43.598+10:002012-07-10T18:18:43.598+10:00It's just great to hear all you committed moth...It's just great to hear all you committed mothers being so passionate about your role in the family. Have just been reading 'Down to Earth' and Rhonda Jean was saying much the same thing in the context of simple living and contentment. You are giving your children priceless gifts of security, care, loving guidance and discipline. Be proud!gartcott aka Penny Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03587780040278332099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-38850358219038971562012-07-10T17:26:42.104+10:002012-07-10T17:26:42.104+10:00Oh, and feel free to rant here any time! In fact i...Oh, and feel free to rant here any time! In fact if you wanted to do a guest post...The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-44345916336353847212012-07-10T17:23:20.952+10:002012-07-10T17:23:20.952+10:00Exactly!Exactly!The Accidental Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12903019781422765851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-53046059168916785202012-07-10T17:03:20.347+10:002012-07-10T17:03:20.347+10:00I for one enjoyed your rant, its everything I want...I for one enjoyed your rant, its everything I want to shout at some of the women I know.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03589211988263088628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649782126359701245.post-4752075730048010082012-07-10T17:01:15.635+10:002012-07-10T17:01:15.635+10:00A school friend of ours has more than once express...A school friend of ours has more than once expressed to me her plan to have multiple nannies in rotation if she ever has kids, so there's someone there 24/7 to look after the kid, and from the first few weeks so she can go straight back to work. I have to bite my tongue to stop from saying why have a child if you're not going to raise it? I hope the hormones kick in and she becomes more maternal if she ever does get pregnant..Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03589211988263088628noreply@blogger.com